the joy...

I'll admit it, I've been in a funk...a monumental funk. I've been worried, wondering if there will ever be enough time, enough money, heck even a moment of quiet. I've been quick to anger and slow to let it go. I'm tired of the snow, the cold, the grey. I crave the sunshine, the fresh air, the trips to the park. I'm burnt out. I feel like this. But here I sit at 2am so overcome with joy that I have to write this post before I go to sleep. Normally, hearing a crying baby at 1am immediately makes me sigh and get just a tad bit angry. I know it isn't his fault, but when you're used to him sleeping through the night, it is hard. Anyway, tonight was really no different, I sighed got out of bed and picked him up. He had a dirty diaper. Seriously?? Changing a poopy diaper at 1am is no one's idea of fun. After I changed him, he was wide awake, so I tried to lay down with him on the futon, he of course, had other ideas and wanted to get down and play. Normally this would dance on my last remaining nerve, but tonight I let him down and he went to get a book. He brought the book back to me...we sat and looked at the book. He got to a picture of a dog and he looked at me and said "woof, woof" as he petted the dog. He got this huge smile on his face and then planted a big kiss on me. As I lay on the futon looking up at him and what was left of his mohawk saying woof, woof to himself and alternately giving me kisses...I felt this weight lift off of me and was so glad to just be in the moment with him. Knowing that if I had been angry when he woke up I would have missed this. Is this is what I'm missing while in my funk...just getting through my day without being in it...I mean really in it? Someday there will be enough money, enough time, and enough quiet and I will wish I had all of this back. I know in my head that this will happen, but it is hard to think about that while you're changing your 10th diaper of the day and filling your 100th cup of the day, and hearing mom for the 1 millionth time of the day. I am glad I had this little reminder today. The joy is right there waiting for me to see and enjoy. It is in these two faces.

I'm not saying that tomorrow will be perfect...we are definitely not all sunshine and roses around here, but you can bet even in the thick of it (for tomorrow at least)I'll see the joy. I thank God everyday for these two angels and for opening me up to feel the joy tonight...it was just what I needed.The joy is all around us...we just have to let go and feel it.

the lost symbol...

I've got another book review for you! :) I just finished Dan Brown's The Lost Symbol.

The Lost Symbol brings back everyone's favorite professor, Robert Langdon. Langdon is brought to Washington DC to use his expertise to uncover once and for all the Mason's most treasured and highly guarded secret. (I think this is where I always fail at book reviews I'm not good at summarizing the book without giving stuff away)

I have mixed feelings about this book, I was really looking forward to reading it because I have really enjoyed all of Dan Brown's other books, and while I liked it...it was definitely not my favorite work by Dan Brown. For starters, it took me a really long time to really get into the book, I would say I was almost 1/2 way through before I got to where I was really involved in it. I'm not sure why it didn't grab me right away. It had some twists in it that I didn't see coming, which I enjoyed, because most of the time I have the end figured out before I get there, but even with those turn of events this would probably be 4th on my list of Dan Brown novels. This book is definitely worth the read, it just wasn't one of my personal favorites.

Happy Reading!!

separate rooms=better sleep...

Things are going well with the kids in their own rooms. We knew there would be an adjustment period, especially with Brianna....BUT the kids have done wonderfully. The first night Brianna ended up in our bed in the middle of the night, but the last 2 nights she has slept in her new room with no problems. Bryce goes to bed and stays asleep until morning...which is wonderful! He slept until after 9 yesterday morning and until about 8:30 this morning. Another HUGE bonus (for me at least) is that the kids are playing in their rooms, the toys are contained and my living room is still in one piece. Things are still on the shelves that I put them on! It is a miracle! I think I pick up toys in Bryce's room about 3 times a day...but it doesn't bother me, I can let him play in there and not worry that he is going to break something. In fact, I am typing this from his room while he plays. I'm waiting on some work stuff, so I brought the laptop up to his room and am sitting on the futon while he plays. The kids seem happier and mommy is definitely happier! I know I still owe you pictures or video or something...I haven't forgotten, things have just been a tad crazy this week. Hang tight, promise they will be here soon! :)

just filler...

I have a horribly sore throat today and a mound of work to get done tonight, so you you are just getting pictures of the rings I just made. They are my first attempts at rings..but I like them (I think) :) What do you think?

to tired for anything significant...

Sunday night already?? Ugh! We spent the weekend cleaning and moving furniture and purging the house of some of our junk. We moved (after much internal debate on my part) Brianna to her own room in the "basement" (we don't really have a basement, but we call it that or as Brianna likes to call it down-down stairs) Anyway, it was a pretty overwhelming task, but with Bob and Nancy's help (by taking the kids for the weekend) and Bob and I working our tails off we got it done. Along with a good cleaning of the house. I feel good about everything we accomplished this weekend, but I am now exhausted. I didn't post about my workouts/eating on Friday well because frankly I sucked last week and didn't do much of anything. I know I should still post that stuff but I was busy! :) I am planning on posting video tours of the kids' rooms tomorrow, so that should keep you all on the edge of your seats! Until then...enjoy what is left of your weekend!

**How cool is it that Kelly from The Girls from Ames left me a comment on my post? I'll be honest...I squealed out loud when I read it. I have no idea how she found my little piece of blogland, but I'm honored that she took the time to leave me a comment. Yay! Thank you Kelly, you made this Iowa girl's day!)**

the girls from ames...

I don't often write reviews on books but maybe I'll start. I have this fear of raving about a book I love and having people I recommend it to hate it. (Plus, I'm terrible about describing books...I'm a reader not a writer! :) But that is life...we all like different things and I happen to LOVE this book.

"The Girls from Ames"is about a group of 11 girls that have been friends since childhood (they are all in their mid-forties now). It discusses their friendships, the ups and downs, the hurt feelings and the joys. And more than just reminiscing about their pasts it discusses their interactions with each other, their support of each other during the toughest times in their lives, and how even though they now are spread all over the country they are still deeply entrenched in each others lives. It is an amazing story of true friendship.

Here is one of my favorite passages from the book

"Having these women in my world has meant not only acceptance, but radiant joy and laughter that knocks me right out of my chair. Through our darkest moments, we have lifted each other up. In every moment of grief we've shared, our laughter is a life vest, a secure promise that we will not go under."

This book made me think about the friendships I have, the million little things that have made them what they are, and how incredibly lucky I am to have such amazing people in my life.

funny conversations...

I posted this originally on facebook, but some of you out there aren't on facebook so I couldn't resist posting it here as well.

Brianna (after throwing something): "go get it buddy, go get it boy!"
Me: "Brianna, he is not a puppy"
Brianna: "But he chews on shoes!"

I had no response to that because...it is true.
She really does crack me up!

**not sure what is going on with the videos I've posted...I'm trying to fix it**
**aren't you impressed with my consistent posts for the last week or so?**

i wish I knew what she was thinking...

Yes, she can and does tell me what she is thinking most of the time. In fact she is quite vocal about pretty much everything these days. But I still wish I could be inside her head and figure out why she does the things she does. I guess it those little quirks that make her who she is. She was so proud of herself when she came up to me this afternoon after she had made her face "pretty". I didn't yell or anything I just asked why she did that and I hurt her feelings. She was sad that I didn't like what she had done. I just wonder what the thought process was like as she decided to write on her face with pen. Just one of the many, many, many reasons I love her. :)

the call...

My sister told me I needed to listen to the song "The Call" by Matt Kennon, so today I looked it up on google and the video on You Tube was the first link. When I heard the song and watched the video I got goosebumps. The song itself is pretty heavy, and hopefully most of us aren't in situations like that. It reminded me of a book I just read "An Hour to Live, an Hour to love" and in it, a quote "If you had an hour to live who would you call? And why are you waiting?" This struck me because I often think of friends and family and think I should call them, but I stop myself because I don't want to bother them or I don't really have anything specific to say. Is there anything better than an unexpected phone call from a friend or family member just because they were thinking of you? One call can make all the difference.

my favorite thing...

My favorite thing in the whole wide world is watching my kiddos sleep, especially when they are babies. Last night Bryce woke up around 1am...and I was still up so I went and got him and held him while he fell back asleep. As he lay there sleeping I watched as he smiled, giggled, frowned and made crazy facial expressions. I looked at that beautiful boy and wished for just a moment I could see what was going on in his head. In those moments of watching him sleep or even watching Brianna sleep the whole day is washed away, all of the frustrations and the moments that I wanted to scream or cry...are gone and all that is left are images of my children laughing and smiling and being sweet to each other...the world feels right again. All too soon I won't be able to hold them in my arms ,watch them sleep and let their innocence wash away the day, I am grateful for every moment that I get to spend with them. They are my angels even when they aren't. :)

more videos...

I'm loving the flip Bob got me for Christmas.
Here are a couple more videos for you!

happy 2010...

The new year rang in without us. Bob and Nancy were very kind and took the kids for us. Unfortunately I wasn't feeling that great and so we spent the night watching season 1 of 30 Rock and eating Chipotle. I think I fell asleep around 10:30. Oops. I'm old...I've accepted it. On the 2nd our friends Dawn & Chris came to visit and we had a great afternoon catching up. Since then there hasn't been much going on. I'm trying to catch up on my bookkeeping and get our stuff ready for our tax return and keeping the kiddos entertained in this horrible freezing cold weather. We don't have much planned for the next few months...I know you are all shocked, but so far the next few months are pretty calm. Hope you all had a great New Year! We wish you many blessings in 2010!

christmas...part 2...

So, we headed to Iowa to spend Christmas with my family. We had planned to leave on Wednesday after Brianna got out of school but with the weather that was predicted for Iowa that day we decided to leave a day earlier. Bryce does not travel well. AT ALL. He slept for 30 minutes and then pretty much screamed the other 3 hours. It was not so much fun. We got to Mom and Dad's in one piece and with our hearing still mostly intact, so I will consider it a success. Wednesday was a pretty low-key day. I was supposed to meet some friends from high school on Wednesday evening but there was about 2 inches of ice on everything at the time I was to leave...so I opted to stay home. I was bummed that I missed everyone but hopefully we'll be able to get together sometime in the near future. Anyway, Thursday found us getting ready for Christmas Eve mass. It was crowded and hot and the kids were lets just say...not so good. I have always loved Christmas Eve mass, but I'll be honest, I didn't get anything out of it and I was glad when it was over. (I'm sure I'm going to hell for that statement...but it was really not good). Back at my parents we had homemade pizza (our tradition) and then opened some gifts. It was ridiculous there were so many presents they didn't even really fit in the one room. Everyone was happy though and that is what counts. Christmas morning the kids opened up the presents Santa brought. One thing I will probably always remember is that when Brianna opened her big present (a dollhouse) she shrugged her shoulders and said "It is fine...but it isn't the one I wanted" Yup...way to go Santa! We headed to my Aunt and Uncles for a while on Christmas Day and then up to my Grandma's house. She spoiled everyone and it was so great to see the family! Saturday Bob and I met up with some of my friends from high school and had a great time laughing and reminiscing. Sunday we had the last of our Christmases with my Dad's family. It was great to see everyone and it was the first time some of them have seen Bryce. All-in-all a very hectic but great holiday season!

sunday sunday...

Thought I would quick pop in and say hi before I'm off to watch 24 with the hubby! (we are nothing if not exciting) Hope you all had a great weekend...we have an extended one because Bob is off tomorrow...Yay! We're thinking about maybe just going to the mall with the kids for a while for them to run around...but I guess we'll see how everyone behaves! :)

If you have time...I think you should check this out.

I turn 30 in 2 1/2 months...aggg! So here it is blogland...I had a goal to lose 50ish pounds before then (this was a few months ago) and since that is not going to happen in any sort of healthy way at this point...I am going to just work toward that goal. Starting tomorrow the workouts and the healthier eating resumes (lets be honest...I'm still going to have my occasional beer and ice cream). I'm thinking that on Fridays I will post my progress for the week. There it is blogland...it is out there and I'm accountable! I've done it once...I can do it again!

Happy Sunday!

christmas...part 1...

We started Christmas on the 20th with the Caruso family. The kids had so much fun playing together and it was nice to catch up with everyone. We all kept laughing about how last year there were 3 tiny babies at Christmas and this year there were 3 kids running around and getting into stuff faster than anyone could stop them (OK maybe that was just Bryce that was getting into stuff!). The food was great and the company was even better.

Oh...I guess I should back up just a tiny bit and tell you that the Carroll family is growing once again. Ha! Scared you didn't I? No, there are no babies on the way but I am so happy to tell you that Brian and Mary got engaged on December 18th!! She has been a part of the family longer than I have, but it is exciting to make it official! The kids adore her and so do we. I'm so glad that I'll be able to call her my sister-in-law! :)

Wow, this is sort of a random post...anyway, after Caruso Christmas we had the Carroll Family Christmas on Tuesday (before we headed to Iowa for more Christmas). It was fun hanging out with everyone and it was very low-key...just the way I like things :) We spent a few hours hanging out, eating, opening presents and then we climbed in the car and headed to Iowa to try to beat out the nasty winter weather that was heading that way.

Stay tuned for Christmas part 2 coming shortly...until then some pictures of the Caruso and Carroll Christmases!

somthing to make you smile...

our little rockstar and her biggest fan...

anyone still out there?

Oh my...it has been a while hasn't it? I don't even know where to begin at this point. When I last left you we had just celebrated Bryce's 1st birthday. So, I will update you on the kiddos and then try to update the other stuff in the next few posts.

Shortly after his birthday the little man started to really walk...well run...everywhere. Once he figured out that walking/running was really faster than crawling he started running and never looked back. He went for his year check-up and weighed in at 21lbs and is still on the small side, but growing right along his own little growth curve. His iron was a bit low when they checked it at his appointment but we're giving him supplements and he seems to be doing OK. They will recheck it at his 15 month appointment. He ended up with an ear infection and potential pink eye to end out the year and last week he ended up back at the doctors because he was running a fever while on antibiotics. When we got to the office his temp was 103.9!! He was put on a stronger antibiotic because the doctor was worried about a sinus infectino, but we got no real reason he had such a high temp on antibiotics. He seems to be doing much better now and we have just a few days left of the antibiotic, but he takes his medicine like a champ so I can't complain. Hopefully he'll stay healthy for a while now!



Miss Brianna is doing quite well she is still loving school and says stuff all the time that just crack us up. She is really anxious to learn to read and even picked out a chapter book to buy with some Christmas money she had. She has a very active imagination and is so creative and loves to dance and sing. Don't kid yourself she is still just as sassy as always but she is also a big help most of the time. Other than that....nothing much new to report on the kiddo front. They are growing too fast, but I'm glad I'm here to watch them! :)

links of love news...

links of love is now on etsy.
Check out the shop and let me know what you think.
As always, contact me if you want a custom piece...I would be happy to accomodate you! :)

i'd say it was a success...

**pictures are going up on shutterfly right now**

365...

Dear Bubba,
That is how many days it has been since you burst into our lives. You surprised me then little man and you have continued to surprise me every day for the last 365 days. December 3, 2008 was the beginning of a wonderful, joyful chapter in our lives. You just started walking and you looked so proud of yourself, but I think it is too slow for you. You are a speed demon crawler and you can get into anything before I can even blink. You test my patience every day (you'd think that after your sister I'd be cool as a cucumber...but no), but that smile makes me forget it all. I love the way you are finding your voice and never for 1 second let us forget you are in the room or if we are in a different room you let us know where you are. You don't like to eat anything different than we are and you get mad if we try to give you something we are not eating. You are pretty much done with bottles, you will grab any sippy cup you can get your little hands on. Can I tell you a secret? I love that you save your big sloppy kisses only for your mama (although we do have to work on the not biting part...my cheeks are not chew toys). The smile that breaks out on your face when you see me for the first time every day melts my heart. I even love that at 11pm (almost) every single night you wake up and just want to cuddle for a little bit, you'll lay your head on my chest and smile and then you start crawling all over the place, and when I put you back in your bed you don't make a sound, it is like you just wanted to see mama and dada one last time before you really go to sleep for the night, to make sure we are still there. You are stubborn just like your big sister, and you love her with everything you have. I still cannot wrap my head around how these last 365 days have passed...it has been a whirlwind. We started out a tad rocky, but I think we're hitting our stride now. In those last few minutes before you were born I was scared, you were having some problems all of the sudden there were 5 extra people in the room, your daddy didn't even get to cut the cord, but in the midst of it all I heard the doctor say it was a boy and I looked at your daddy and he had the biggest smile I've ever seen and tears in his eyes. I heard you cry and the doctor said you were just fine, perfect in fact, and I saw for myself how perfect you truly were. Your smile and your laugh are infectious, it is impossible to stay unhappy when you are in the room smiling and laughing. You are still mama's little cuddle bug and I love that. How lucky I have been to be able to share each of these last 365 days with you...to see your first smile, crawling, first steps, to notice when your first teeth (finally) came through. A year ago I was blessed with a perfect baby boy, and today I'm feeling especially blessed that you are in our lives. How fast time goes and things change. I love you birthday boy!
Love always and forever,
mama