Saturday, August 02, 2014

nine...

Dear Brianna,
Oh my sweet, sweet girl...these birthday posts seem to come quicker with each passing year. It seems like only last week that I was writing your first birthday post and here I am writing your ninth. I seldom see the glimpses of my baby anymore, you are changing right before my eyes into a beautiful young lady. This last year was a biggie for you, you were in your first wedding, had first communion, joined swim team...lots of firsts, and not surprising to me, you handled them all beautifully, with all the grace I have come to expect from you. You did surprise me this year by asking to be on the swim team. You are a good swimmer, don't get me wrong, but you really haven't been swimming that long and this seemed like a huge leap to me. Daddy and I said OK and signed you up, and to be honest we both were questioning whether it was a good idea or not.  I was nervous walking into your first meet...would you be able to swim the whole length, would you have your breathing right, all these questions and more made me so nervous for you.  When it was your turn, you got up there to swim and your confidence and excitement were clearly visible. Suddenly, I wasn't nervous for you anymore, and I thought to myself "she's got this." and you did. You were amazing! You have become such a good little swimmer and more importantly (at least to this mama) you had so much fun this season. I have a feeling we might have some more swim meets in our future, but if not...that is OK too. It was truly a joy to watch you swim this summer. I could ramble  on and on about your accomplishments this year, like your team winning the cupcake bake off at UD for kids (that's my girl!) or how great you did at school this year, but they all pretty much boil down to this, and this is what I really want you to remember when you look back at these letters....I am so so so proud of you. Watching you grow and change these last nine years has been one of the greatest joys of my life. You aren't afraid to try new things, you have a confidence in you that I still to this day don't have, you are smart and funny, you love fiercely, you are sweet and gentle and kind...and sweet girl, you truly teach me so much more than I teach you (and one day I'm sure you will comment on how that is one giant run on sentence). The beauty that radiates from you both inside and out catches my breath.  I often find myself thinking..."I can't believe she's mine, how lucky am I?" The answer...so very very lucky. I am so honored that I get to be your mommy.

Here's to the next year and all the new adventures out there waiting for you. I can't wait to see what comes next.
I love you with all of my heart little one...
love always,
mommy

Tuesday, December 03, 2013

to my amazing five year old...

My dear sweet funny Bryce,

How in the world are you 5 today? I know this sounds very cliche but I swear it feels like only yesterday you were this 5lb 7oz little peanut all snuggled up in my arms, and now you barely fit in my arms. You make me laugh...oh how you make me laugh. Your imagination and ability to make any mundane task into something of epic proportions never cease to amaze me. Your ability to jump into new situations with ease astounds me. Your teachers say that you are a problem solver, you will get the shy kids to talk and strike up a conversation with anyone. You always want to be playing with someone or at least sitting right by them, you like the company...except when you are playing the iPad or DS, then you are content to be by yourself (mostly because then you don't have to share and you think we'll forget how long you have been playing). You do absolutely everything at full speed, it is like you are trying to get every ounce of fun out of every minute. I hope you continue to live your life that way...to just live and enjoy the little things. You remind me of this every day, that there is so much joy in the little things if we just look for it. You never let anything get you down for long, after a few minutes you are up and ready to smile, laugh and play again. You don't like wasting time on the stuff that isn't fun. You have the biggest heart and hate to see anyone sad or left out. There are so many things I love about you little man, your big heart and your love of life are just a couple, but they are such a big part of who you are right now at 5 and I hope they are a big part of who you are becoming. I know you are getting too big to be held while you sleep in church (just remember that all ends when you turn 5) but Sunday as you slept in my arms I couldn't help but get a little sad...in so many ways you are that tiny baby I held in my arms 5 short years ago, same gorgeous eyelashes, adorable little nose and kissable lips...but so much has changed...you have changed. What an amazing ride these last 5 years have been...thanks for letting me be a part of it and for still wanting to crawl up in my lap every now and then, mamas need that sometimes. You, my sweet, sweet boy are one of the greatest joys of my life. You constantly make me smile, laugh and question my sanity, but I wouldn't trade one second of the last 5 years. You make our family whole. I hope 5 is the best year yet...I can't wait to see where it takes you.
I love you more than words can possibly say.
Happy Birthday my sweet boy.

Love always,
mama

Friday, August 02, 2013

to the sweetest 8 year old...



To my dear sweet Brianna,
These birthday posts seem to come faster and faster with each passing year.  Your birthday is always rather hectic; we have participated in the Relay for Life each year on or around your birthday.  You always absolutely love going to the Relay around your birthday and are especially excited that this year it is ON your birthday. I would like to think that you love it so much because you are such a giving and kind child, and while that is certainly true…I think part of the reason you love it so much is because you get to play games, eat junk food and stay up entirely too late.  Sounds like a perfect birthday celebration to me! 
This past year has brought so many changes, but you handled them all in stride.  I have seen you thrive since we moved to Iowa and it makes this mama’s heart very happy, I always worry about making the right decisions where you and Bryce are concerned, but this past year has showed me that moving here was a good one for your and your brother. I laughed as I told someone that you were the kid that everyone wants to be friends with, and that too makes me so happy.  You are a sweet and kind young lady; you love to have friends around and to play in a group…but you are also content (for a while) reading a book or playing with your dolls in your room.  You still love to sing and dance, you are always smiling the biggest when music is on and you are dancing around. 
I have seen you push outside of your comfort zone this year by attending UD for Kids.  You were insistent that you wanted to go and you would participate even though you didn’t know anyone.  You went and you had so much fun.  You made some beautiful dresses for your dolls and learned some fun dance moves.  After the first night as I tucked you into bed you whispered to me that you were a little scared and shy at first but that you really had a lot of fun.  It is OK to be scared and shy when you try something new, but the fact that you overcame that makes me so proud of the young lady you are becoming.  Can I let you in on a little secret sweetie, your mama isn’t as brave as you…I have let my fear keep me from doing something new…I am soo soo incredibly proud of you for pushing outside your comfort zone. 
You love basketball, and are becoming a scrappy little player…with the floor burns to prove it! I can’t wait to see how improve and grow in the future. You have really enjoyed softball this year, you are gaining confidence and trying your best, I think if you give it some time and practice you’ll become   quite the player.  But, even if you decide you don’t want to play basketball or softball anymore, I will always remember this year watching you play softball and watching your eyes light up as  you talked about basketball.
A month ago or so I saw a girl who was probably 17 in church, blondish hair pulled up in a pony tail, athletic shorts and tennis shoes and the sight of her made me catch my breath, because there was something about her that made me think of you.  It was as if I got a glimpse at what you were going to look like at that age. You are a beautiful girl both inside and out; you laugh easily and love fiercely.  You are the best baby girl.  You light up the world and I can’t wait to see what comes next for you.  EIGHT…how did this happen so quickly??





Hope this is the best birthday so far….love you to pieces!
Love always,
mama

Friday, May 03, 2013

3653 days...

Dear Bob,

We have spent 3653 days as husband and wife (I'm sure you're going to check that to make sure I'm right, but the internet told me it was 3653 days so you know it has to be true...the internet doesn't lie).  How can I even being to reflect on those days with you? You know I'm going to try though right?  I was going to write 3653 words for 3653 days, but man, that is a lot of words...my wittiness wears off somewhere around word 1000.  Back to the topic at hand...

A few weeks ago while we were driving I asked you if this is where you thought we'd be in 10 years, standing in that church as wide eyed kids.  You thought for a moment and told me that you didn't really have a picture in your head about where we would be in 10 years other than knowing we'd have at least a couple kids.  You asked me the question in return.  I don't know if I ever really gave you an answer or if I just beat around the bush as I am known to do when I can't find the right words.  So, here is my answer...10 years ago I would have said we'd have some great kids who never misbehaved and always listened, I would be a mom who never yelled, I'd be a wife who'd always have a clean house and food on the table.  Ten years later I can say this, we have two great kids...as far as the misbehaving and listening, well you live there too, I don't need to tell you how that is going.  I yell far more than I'd like, the house is almost never clean and although I do cook quite often, it is sometimes more of a struggle than I'd like. I am tired, stressed and sometimes beg for just a few minutes of peace and quiet. 

These last couple of years have pushed us to the brink of insanity (or in my case, closer than I had previously been), they were hard and I didn't know if they were going to ever end.  But you always did (or at least you put on a brave face for me), and as hard as it was there was never any question that we were on the same side, fighting and working toward the same goal. 

I don't know that I am any wiser than that girl was 10 years ago, but I do know there is no place on earth I'd rather be and no one I'd rather be on this chaotic roller coaster with. Our perfectly imperfect life is more than that wide eyed girl could have ever imagined, it is beyond anything I could have dreamed and everything I never knew I wanted.

So, where do I see us 10 years from now? Watching Brianna finish out her junior year in high school and getting ready to be a senior, praying for our lives as Bryce starts driving (oh dear...this is starting to scare me...hopefully the next 10 years go a little slower than the last 10) but mostly I just see us...together.
Together is all that matters, the rest is just icing on the cake.

3653 days is a drop in the bucket compared to the amount of days you'll be stuck with me. 

Thank you for an incredible 10 years and for always being my biggest fan and best friend.

Love you more than all my rambling words can possibly say.

Love always,
me

2013...

I had so many songs I wanted to pick for this year.  But when it comes down to it...I will love you forever and ever (and yes I realize this is written from a man's point of view...but the sentiment is still the same).  Happy Anniversary!


You may think that I'm talking foolish
You've heard that I'm wild & I'm free
You may wonder how I can promise you now
This love that I'm feeling for you always will be
You're not this time that I'm killing
I'm no longer one of those guys
As sure as I live this love that I give
Is gonna be yours till the day that I die -- Oh baby

I'm gonna love you forever, forever & ever amen
As long as old men sit & talk about the weather
As long as old women sit & talk about old men
If you wonder how long I'll be faithfull
I'll be happy to tell you again
I'm gonna love you forever & ever, forever & ever Amen

They say that time takes it's toll on a body
Makes the young girls brown hair turn grey
But honey, I don't care, I'm not in love with your hair
And if it all fell out well I'd love you anyway
They say that time can play tricks on a memory
And people forget things that they knew
But it's easy to see it's happening to me
I've already forgotten every woman but you -- Oh baby

I'm gonna love you forever, forever & ever amen
As long as old men sit & talk about the weather
As long as old women sit & talk about old men
If you wonder how long I'll be faithfull
I'll be happy to tell you again
I'm gonna love you forever & ever, forever & ever Amen

Just listen to how this song ends
I'm gonna love you forever & ever forever & ever
Forever & ever Forever & ever Amen







2012...

We are finally home...such a good feeling to be back together as a family.



Hold on, to me as we go
As we roll down this unfamiliar road
And although this wave (wave) is stringing us along
Just know you're not alone
Cause I'm gonna make this place your home

Settle down, it'll all be clear
Don't pay no mind to the demons
They fill you with fear
The trouble it might drag you down
If you get lost, you can always be found

Just know you're not alone
Cause I'm gonna make this place your home

Settle down, it'll all be clear
Don't pay no mind to the demons
They fill you with fear
The trouble it might drag you down
If you get lost, you can always be found

Just know you're not alone
Cause I'm gonna make this place your home








2011...

This was a rough year for us, the house, living apart it all was just a lot at one time.  Not sure I could have gotten through it without you.


Sometimes it feels like, I'm gonna break
Sometimes this world, gives more than I can take
Sometimes, sunshine gets lost in the rain
And it keeps pouring down
It just keeps coming down.

This life would kill me If I didn't have you
I couldn't live without you baby
I wouldn't want to
If you didn't love me so much
I'd never make it through
'Cause this life would kill me
This life would kill me if I didn't have you.

You are my heart, every breath I breathe
I'm safe in your arms, you rescue me.
When I'm weak, you're strong
If you were gone I don't know where I'd be
You were made for me
(You were made for me)

This life would kill me If I didn't have you
I couldn't live without you baby
I wouldn't want to
If you didn't love me so much
I'd never make it through
'Cause this life would kill me
This life would kill me if I didn't have you

If you didn't love me so much
(If you didn't love me so much)

This Life would kill me If I didn't have you
(This life would kill me)

Couldn't live without you baby
I wouldn't want to
If you didn't love me so much
I'd never make it through
'Cause This life would kill me
This Life would kill me if I didn't have you







2010...

We didn't have a lot of money during this time (although thankfully we didn't have to live in a van) but we sure had a lot of love, and that was enough to get us through.


So we live in our old van
Travel all across this land
Me and you

We'll end up hand in hand
Somewhere down on the sand
Just me and you

Just as free
Free as we'll ever be
Just as free
Free as we'll ever be

We drive until the city lights
Dissolve into a country sky
Just me and you

Lay underneath the harvest moon
Do all the things that lovers do
Just me and you

Just as free
Free as we'll ever be
Just as free
Free as we'll ever be

Ever be

No we don't have a lot of money
No we don't have a lot of money
No we don't have a lot of money

All we need is love
We're free as we'll ever be
Just as free
Free as we'll ever be
Ever be

So we live in our old van
Travel all across this land
Me and you







2009...

Gosh did that little man throw our world into a tailspin, but I am so grateful for every day I get to spend in paradise.


The kids screaming, phone ringing
Dog barking at the mailman bringing
That stack of bills - overdue
Good morning baby, how are you?
Got a half hour, quick shower
Take a drink of milk but the milk's gone sour
My funny face makes you laugh
Twist the top on and I put it back
There goes the washing machine
Baby, don't kick it.
I promise I'll fix it
Long about a million other things

Well, it's ok. It's so nice
It's just another day in paradise
Well, there's no place that
I'd rather be
Well, it's two hearts
And one dream
I wouldn't trade it for anything
And I ask the lord every night
For just another day in paradise

Friday, you're late
Guess we'll never make our dinner date
At the restaurant you start to cry
Baby, we'll just improvise
Well, plan B looks like
Dominoes' pizza in the candle light
Then we'll tippy toe to our room
Make a little love that's overdue
But somebody had a bad dream
Mama and daddy
Can me and my teddy
Come in to sleep in between?

Yeah it's ok. It's so nice.
It's just another day in paradise.
Well, there's no place that
I'd rather be
Well, it's two hearts
And one dream
I wouldn't trade it for anything
And I ask the lord every night
For just another day in paradise

Well, it's ok. It's so nice.
It's just another day in paradise.
Well, there's no place that
I'd rather be
Two hearts
And one dream
I wouldn't trade it for anything
And I ask the lord every night
For just another day in paradise








2008...

Just as we were getting comfortable...surprise! I wasn't sure how we were going to do it, but after seeing our handsome little man, I was never so grateful for 18 inches.



It’s about fifteen hundred miles to California,
They’ll get there Friday if they leave tonight,
She sneaks out at three thirty in the morning,
Leaves a note so she won’t see her daddy cry.

He cuts the engine when he coasts in the driveway,
She slides in and gives him one kiss for the road,
No friends and no family, no job out there waiting,
The whole town will call them crazy but they gotta go.

Cause when you’re young and in love, yeah,
You might do some things that don’t seem all that smart,
Cause there ain’t no greater distance
Than the eighteen inches from your head to your heart, yeah.

They can barely make rent on a rundown apartment,
She’s waiting tables and he’s a valet,
They’re behind on the bills and the car’s barely running,
But he buys a ring with the tips that he’s saved.

When you’re young and in love, yeah,
You might do some things that don’t seem all that smart,
Cause there ain’t no greater distance
Than the eighteen inches from your head to your heart.

Last thing they need is another mouth to feed, but they want one,
They’re just kids themselves but that’s gonna change in nine more months,

She wakes him up at three thirty in the morning,
Ready or not their new life’s gonna start,
Seven pounds and eighteen inches,
The doctor lays that new baby’s head right on her heart.

When you’re young and in love, yeah,
You might do some things that don’t seem all that smart,
But thank God for those eighteen inches,
The distance it is from your head to your heart, yeah, yeah, yeah.







2007...

Life is comfortable and we are settling into our routine, we're doing alright.



Alright, alright
Yeah, it's alright, alright

And I don't need five star reservations
I got spaghetti and a cheap bottle of wine
I don't need no concert in the city
I got a stereo and the 'Best Of Patsy Cline'

Ain't got no caviar, no Dom Perignon
But as far as I can see I got everything I want

'Cause I got a roof over my head
The woman I love layin' in my bed
And it's alright, alright

I got shoes under my feet
Forever in the eyes staring back at me
And it's alright, alright

Yeah, I got all I need
And it's alright by me

Maybe later on we'll walk down to the river
Lay on a blanket and stare up at the moon
It may not be no French Riviera
But it's all the same to me as long as I'm with you

May be a simple life but that's okay, yeah
If you ask me baby I think I got it made

'Cause I got a roof over my head
The woman I love layin' in my bed
And it's alright, alright

I got shoes under my feet
Forever in the eyes staring back at me
And it's alright, alright

Yeah, I got all I need
And it's alright by me

It's alright by me, yeah, yeah
When I lay down at night I thank the lord above
For giving me everything I ever could dream of

'Cause I got a roof over my head
The woman I love layin' in my bed
And it's alright, alright, alright, alright

I got shoes under my feet
Forever in the eyes staring back at me
And it's alright, alright, alright

Yeah, I got all I need, yeah, I got all I need
And it's alright by me, oh yeah
It's alright by me, yeah, yeah, yeah







2006...

3 years in and working on the art of compromise.  (on a side note this video cracks me up with the hair and the clothing!)



It was 700 fence posts
from your place to ours
Neither one of us was old enough to drive a car
sometimes it was rainin and sometimes it would shine
we wore out that gravel road between your house and mine
I start walkin your way you start walkin mine
we meet in the middle neath that old Georgia pine
We gain a lot of ground cuz we both give a little
aint no road to long when we meet in the middle
It's been 7 years tomorrow since we said our vows
under that old pine tree you oughta see it now
standin in the backyard remindin me and you
that if we don't see eye to eye
there's something we can do

I start walkin your way you start walkin mine

we meet in the middle neath that old Georgia pine
We gain a lot of ground cuz we both give a little
aint no road to long when we meet in the middle

Babe I love the way we work it out

That's what love is all about



2005...

Nothing quite like the birth of your child to make you see God everywhere.


Just walked down the street to the coffee shop,
Had to take a break,
I've been by her side for eighteen hours straight,
saw a flower growing in the middle of the sidewalk,
pushing up through the concrete,
Like it was planted right there for me to see,

The flashing lights,
The honking horns,
All seem to fade away,
but in the shadow of the hospital,
at 508,
I saw God today,
I've been to church,
I've read the book,
I know He's there,
But I don't look,
near as often as I should,
His fingerprints are everywhere,
I just look down and stop and stare,
open my eyes and then I swear,
I Saw God Today,
Saw a couple walking by,
they were holding hands,
and she had that glow,
Ya, I couldn't help,
but I noticed that she was starting to show,
stood there for a minute,
taking in the sky,
lost in that sunset,
a splashing down from mounting in shades of red,

I've been to church,
I've read the book,
I know He's there,
but I don't look,
near as often as I should,

His fingerprints are everywhere,
I just look down and stop and stare,
open my eye and then I swear,
I Saw God Today,

Got my face pushed up against the nursery glass,
she's sleeping like a rock,
my name on her wrist,
wearing tiny pink socks,
she's got my nose,
she's got her Mama's eyes,
my bran new baby girl,
she's a miracle,

I Saw God Today



2004...

The first year of married bliss where you think the little fights you have are the truly earth shattering, getting to know each other and work out some of the difficulties that comes with being newly married, and needing someone wiser to remind you that this is the good stuff.




Well, me an' my lady had our first big fight,
So I drove around 'til I saw the neon light.
A corner bar, an it just seemed right.
So I pulled up.

Not a soul around but the old bar keep,
Down at the end an' looking half asleep.
And he walked up, an' said: "What'll it be?"
I said: "The good stuff."

He didn't reach around for the whiskey;
He didn't pour me a beer.
His blue eyes kinda went misty,
He said: "You can't find that here.

'cause it's the first long kiss on a second date.
Momma's all worried when you get home late.
And droppin' the ring in the spaghetti plate,
'cause your hands are shakin' so much.
An' it's the way that she looks with the rice in her hair.
Eatin' burnt suppers the whole first year
An' askin' for seconds to keep her from tearin' up.
Yeah, man, that's the good stuff."

He grabbed a carton of milk an' he poured a glass.
An' I smiled an' said: "I'll have some of that."
We sat there an' talked as an hour passed,
Like old friends.
I saw a black an' white picture an' it caught my stare,
It was a pretty girl with bouffant hair.
He said: "That's my Bonnie,
Taken 'bout a year after we were wed."

He said "Spent five years in the bar,
When the cancer took her from me.
But I've been sober three years now,
'cause the one thing stronger than the whiskey

Was the sight of her holdin' my baby girl.
The way she adored that string of pearls,
I gave her the day that our youngest boy, Earl,
Married his high school love."
"An' it's a new tee-shirt saying: 'I'm a Grandpa'.
Bein' right there as our time got small,
An' holdin' her hand, when the Good Lord called her up,
Yeah, man, that's the good stuff."

He said: "When you get home, she'll start to cry.
When she says: 'I'm sorry,' say: 'So am I.'
An' look into those eyes, so deep in love,
An' drink it up.
'cause that's the good stuff.
That's the good stuff."







2003...

Sorry to fill up your blog feeders with my gushy, full of love posts, but 10 years is something to celebrate and it is my blog so I'll gush if I want to! :)

As sort of a gift to my wonderful husband (and to myself) here is a recap of our 10 years together, via some of my favorite songs. These songs all make me think of our life together so far.

Bob,
I know you aren't one to actually listen to the words of songs, so I helpfully posted the lyrics below.  Love you!
The year we got married was one of the best of my life.

Forever can never be long enough for me
To feel like I've had long enough with you
Forget the world now, we won't let them see
But there's one thing left to do
Now that the weight has lifted
Love has surely shifted my way
Marry me
Today and every day
Marry me
If I ever get the nerve to say "Hello" in this cafe
Say you will
Say you will
Together can never be close enough for me To feel like I am close enough to you
You wear white and I'll wear out the words "I love you"
And you're beautiful
Now that the wait is over
And love has finally shown her my way
Marry me
Today and every day
Marry me
If I ever get the nerve to say "Hello" in this cafe
Say you will
Say you will
Promise me
You'll always be
Happy by my side
I promise to
Sing to you
When all the music dies
And marry me
Today and everyday
Marry me
If I ever get the nerve to say "Hello" in this cafe
Say you will
Say you will
Marry me




Monday, March 18, 2013

a celtic witch (a review)...

This little gem arrived in my inbox yesterday...and I guess this German girl had a little luck of the Irish that I didn't have anything planned so I could sit down and spend my day reading this book cover to cover. 

A Celtic Witch brings us back to Nova Scotia to catch up with grumpy Marcus and his lavender eyed sweetie Morgan (who single handedly is making Marcus a little less grumpy).  But Marcus' world is about to be upended once again when Cassidy Farrell, a world famous Irish fiddle player, ends up in Fisher's Cove.

Cassidy loves her life on the road, she is a wandering soul but every year she removes herself from the hustle and bustle of touring and spends some time in Nova Scotia to replenish her soul.  It is the one time a year she goes to where the rocks call her.  This time something is different, the touring is taking it's toll on Cassidy and while she cannot imagine not preforming anymore she is developing a need to have some roots and a place to call home.  With the help of a community who has adopted her as one of her own, will she find that she can have both roots and wings?

I've said it a thousand times in a thousand ways, I love this series.  There is just something special and magical about this series to me.  This series is filled with love, family and community and really, what is better than that?

**I received a copy of this book from the author, but all opinions are mine and mine alone**

Monday, January 14, 2013

needing advice...

So, I'm back on the wagon to eat better, exercise more regularly and lose some (or a lot) of weight.  I do OK eating wise at work and I tend to drink a lot of water during the day.  My real problems come in at home...maybe because I have access to food here more easily than at work or maybe it is just a long ingrained habit...I don't know for sure what it is..but I need help.  What do I do to avoid eating at home or at least snacking mindlessly or late at night?  Any tips would be welcome.  I know I need to start tracking what I'm eating...so I'm going to start doing that again, but any other tips would be great.  I'm not big into crash diets or completely eliminating food from my life because for me that is just not sustainable.  I want to be able to drink a beer, have some ice cream, etc when I want to.  I don't want to feel like I'm in a food prison, because I know that will just make me want those things even more.  I have a significant amount of weight I want to lose, but it isn't about being skinny I just want to feel better about myself and most importantly be around for my kids and husband for a long, long time.  So have at it...what should I be doing to get on the right track??

Thursday, January 10, 2013

finding a balance...

I've never been very good at balance.  When I dive into something I usually dive in headfirst and whatever I'm doing consumes me until I'm done.  Lately, I've been somewhat obsessed with hanging things on the walls and decorating the house.  I spent a day while the kids were sick printing new pictures finding picture frames and hanging stuff.  I have ideas of other things I want to do, but don't have the supplies to actually complete them.  I just finished reading 11/22/63 (the novel by Stephen King) it is about 850 pages.  Any free time I had while I was in the middle of that book went into reading it until I was done.  See, I get consumed by a particular project until I can check it off my list.  I'm better about multitasking at work but in my personal life I just can't seem to balance a bunch of stuff at once.  Obviously, I can't just be consumed with the kids for the next 11-14 years and not do anything else, but I don't know how to spread my time out, how to do things for myself and for everyone else without spreading myself too thin.  With a full-time job, 2 side bookkeeping jobs and the kids, I barely have any time left for Bob, much less myself, and in general the time I have for myself I honestly just want to sleep!  What is the key to a balanced life (or at least a more balanced life)?  How do you find time to do things that feed your soul and re-energize you when you feel like you have nothing left?  I know there are some very smart and well balanced mamas that read this...so I'm looking to you, wise ones, to help me have a more balanced 2013.