eighteen

 Dear B,

How the hell are we here? When I started these letters on your first birthday eighteen was so far away, I wasn't even sure I would continue to write these...I always have good intentions, but my follow through is always lacking a bit. I truly am at a loss for words. Watching you grow and change over the last 18 years has been one of the biggest honors of my life. I'm so damn proud of you...your determination, your work ethic, your heart...you are really just one of a kind. It is unbelievable to me that you are starting your senior year, looking at colleges and planning for what I know will be an amazing future. It all is just happening a little too fast for me. (I know I still have one more year of you at home but as fast as the last eighteen years have gone, this next is going to go at warp speed) I'm going to miss hearing your voice (even your whining a tiny bit), listening to your ridiculous stories that seemingly have no point, watching you be an absolute dork when you are overtired, hearing your laugh and even seeing you roll your eyes every single day. I still expect our daily wordle and the vast amounts of tiktoks shared, but it definitely won't be the same without us giggling at the fact that every time you send a tiktok dad says "I want that time back!" (the man just doesn't appreciate our humor). I'm so excited to see what happens in this next year...a year that will be filled with so many lasts...but then so many firsts. If you see me tearing up at random times over the next year just know that the tears, while are certainly because of sadness, are mostly due to joy and pride. You have navigated the last 18 years with so much grace, determination and caring and I have no doubt you will do the same in the next 18. I love you so damn much. 

Happy 18th sweet girl, may this be a year filled with happiness and beautiful memories, you deserve nothing less. 

Love always,

mom