Thursday, December 16, 2010

today...was not the best day...

I'm really struggling tonight.  I am tired, overwhelmed, and irrationally upset.  I can say it is the kids behavior and part of it is.  (listening is a real struggle around here these days).  Bryce doesn't ever want to eat.  Brianna was never a picky child, she pretty much ate whatever we put in front of her or she'd at least try it.  Bryce, pretty much refuses to eat anything we give him.  Oh, give him some poptarts, cereal or cookies and he can eat a truckload, but try to get him to eat some chicken or hamburger it is like we're trying to kill him.  Lets understand something here, I'm not asking him to eat a whole steak, just a few bites of protein every now and then so I know he isn't going to starve anytime soon.  He just messes around at dinner until everyone is mad and yelling and he is sent to bed.  But, is there more to it than that?  We've been working a lot these days...Bob with his job and me with my few clients here and there, but we both spend a lot of time at the computer.  Bob has been working from home the last few weeks due to some construction at his office so he is here, but not available to the kids (as it should be...I'm not complaining about this).  I'm starting to wonder if their acting out is because it is the way they get undivided attention from us.  This realization makes my heart hurt, it makes me sad and makes me feel like I'm failing as a mom.  So, over the next few weeks I'm making a conscious effort to close the laptop to stop working and checking my email while the kids are awake, to be more involved in their day-to-day, to play more, yell less and to make sure they hear "yes" when they ask to play instead of "in a minute". I still have to be at my computer a certain number of times a day, but for the rest of this year (and hopefully beyond) I'm making an effort to only be on here during set times.  I don't want to feel like a failure anymore.  I know this is not the magic "fix-all" but I think it is a start.

1 comment:

Abbie said...

Oh good for you! I feel the same way so much. I know that heart hurting feeling.
Sam has become a bit of a picker eater too so we have instituted the "no-thank you bite". An idea I actually got from my sister. She is required to take one bite of everything that I put on her plate. If she tries it and still doesn't like it or want it I am willing to get her something else, but she has to be polite (no arguing!) and try at least one bite. Might be something to try with Bryce.
Good luck! And don't let it get you down, I think it is something that every mom/parent feels at different times.