Thursday, August 26, 2010
Today...today is a big fail. The jar thing...well, it isn't going so well. Today I endured 2+ hours of whining and crying about how she can't pick up her room and it is just too hard and she needs help. I was calm and reminded her about her jar. She asked for a snack, I calmly told her no, she didn't get a snack until her room was picked up. (This was all after she cried and screamed because she didn't like the lunch I made her...and that I wouldn't give her chocolate milk). Of course Daddy came home and her room wasn't picked up. I gave her more time, told her to get it picked up and then come say hi to Daddy, she looked like she was going to get it done. Nope. 20 minutes later it looked exactly the same. Here we are at 7:30, she is in bed for the night (a good 2 hours before she normally goes to bed) and her most prized possessions removed from her room. I did not lose my temper, I did not yell. I tried talking to her calmly and listened to her feelings, but I don't feel any closer to an answer. I feel broken. I want to cry. I want to scream. I know she is 5 and I know I expect a lot out of her, but it is nothing she isn't capable of. She is very articulate most of the time, but when I ask her why it is so hard for her and what makes it hard she can't tell me, she can't find the words. I just don't know what to do. I'm tired of the yelling, the whining, the anger and frustration that falls over my family on nights like these. I know this is all just the beginning of the battles we will face, and it seems dramatic to be sitting here crying over this, but I feel heartbroken that I can't effectively communicate with my 5 year old...how the hell are we ever going to make it through the stuff when she is 15?