Saturday, May 03, 2008

five...


3:00am...Mom comes into the bedroom where Angie and I were sleeping (well Angie was sleeping...I was laying in the dark, mind racing) and says "It's time to get up...." I hop out of bed with a big smile on my face saying "I'm getting married today!!!" Angie buries her head under the pillow and says something to the effect of "are you serious, it is 3am"

The next few hours are a whirlwind of hair, makeup, putting on my dress. At 9am we arrive at church for pictures. I see Bob and smile, thinking to my self...what a lucky girl I am that he picked me. I can tell he is nervous, pacing back and forth...but not me, I've never been so calm in all my life. Decisions have never come easy to me, but this is one that I never thought twice about (even 2 days before the wedding when we had a big fight about the seating chart ;o)

As the doors open, my dad and I arm and arm ready to walk down the isle, I looked at the little church...the church where I was baptized, had my first communion, and was confirmed, the church that holds so many memories of my life, filled with our friends and family, those who love us and have supported us and I smiled, and then I looked down the aisle to my future husband, and my heart skipped a beat. That is one of the moments of my life that I want to freeze, to be able to feel that moment forever. To feel the love in that little church, it’s the kind of memory that on the darkest days makes me smile.

The rest of the day was just as perfect. Oh I'm sure something went wrong...but I don't know what. All I remember is the dancing, laughing, and being surrounded by the people we love most in this world.

Now, if you had asked me then if I thought I could love Bob more than I did at that moment, I probably would have said no. But 5 years later, I can tell you that I love him so much more than I did that day. Everyday I think there is no way I can possibly love him more, and then he does something...something small that it probably seems like I take for granted, and something that even he doesn't think means very much, and its those things that make me fall into bed each night knowing that I love him more than I did yesterday.

I don't know what I ever did to deserve someone like him, most days I'm pretty sure I didn't do anything to deserve him, but I am lucky enough to have him and I'm not letting him go.

Bob and I are very different, some days I think we're too different, we bicker about dumb stuff like any couple does, but in the end our differences make us stronger. I'd like to think I've helped him become a little more flexible and spontaneous, and I know he's made me a better planner. He's helped me more than he even realizes find the confidence in myself that I've been missing for a long time. He's always my biggest cheerleader, even when I feel like I've failed. My life without him would be empty.

No words have meant as much to me as those I said 5 years ago today as I stood there in that little church filled with our family and friends and said "I, Amber, take you, Bob, to be my husband...."

Happy Anniversary Baby!
I love you!

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