fifteen

 Dear Bryce,

15 today...I have no words. (OK that's a lie, you know I have lots of words, but damn it is hard to put them into something that makes sense, but you know I'm going to try). This past year has not been the easiest, you've battled injuries and setbacks that have taken their toll, but I have watched you pick yourself up, dust yourself off and forge ahead more determined than ever to reach your goals. I have never met anyone more determined than you. When you set your mind to something, there is no stopping you. You work hard at absolutely everything you do, and it is so amazing to watch you push yourself to new heights. I can't believe you are in high school, and wrestling your first varsity matches the last couple of days. I know you have been waiting for that day for a long time so it filled me with so much joy to watch you out there doing what you love and leaving no doubt that you belong on that mat. I'm so excited to see what the rest of your freshman year has in store for you, to watch you continue to wrestle, play high school golf and to play baseball again this summer, you have so much to look forward to and so much more fun to be had. Keep your intensity and focus but remember to have some fun along the way.  Dad and I are so proud of you, your work ethic and your heart. Hope 15 is all you wish for, you deserve nothing less. Happy Birthday Bryce, we love you so damn much (even though you make us crazy 90% of the time😜)!

eighteen

 Dear B,

How the hell are we here? When I started these letters on your first birthday eighteen was so far away, I wasn't even sure I would continue to write these...I always have good intentions, but my follow through is always lacking a bit. I truly am at a loss for words. Watching you grow and change over the last 18 years has been one of the biggest honors of my life. I'm so damn proud of you...your determination, your work ethic, your heart...you are really just one of a kind. It is unbelievable to me that you are starting your senior year, looking at colleges and planning for what I know will be an amazing future. It all is just happening a little too fast for me. (I know I still have one more year of you at home but as fast as the last eighteen years have gone, this next is going to go at warp speed) I'm going to miss hearing your voice (even your whining a tiny bit), listening to your ridiculous stories that seemingly have no point, watching you be an absolute dork when you are overtired, hearing your laugh and even seeing you roll your eyes every single day. I still expect our daily wordle and the vast amounts of tiktoks shared, but it definitely won't be the same without us giggling at the fact that every time you send a tiktok dad says "I want that time back!" (the man just doesn't appreciate our humor). I'm so excited to see what happens in this next year...a year that will be filled with so many lasts...but then so many firsts. If you see me tearing up at random times over the next year just know that the tears, while are certainly because of sadness, are mostly due to joy and pride. You have navigated the last 18 years with so much grace, determination and caring and I have no doubt you will do the same in the next 18. I love you so damn much. 

Happy 18th sweet girl, may this be a year filled with happiness and beautiful memories, you deserve nothing less. 

Love always,

mom

fourteen

 Dear Bryce,

I honestly don't know how we got here so quickly. It seems impossible that you are 14 already, I can't even wrap my brain around it. Quite frankly, you've always been an old soul in a little kids body, you (generally) act much older than you are and have been able to have a conversation with literally anyone since the time you were very young, but now you're not such a kid anymore. You have an intensity and drive, when it comes to things you love, that is admirable. You put your whole heart and soul into what you do (minus maybe your school work or household chores😜) and it is so very fun to watch you do the things you love. This week has not been the best for you...being sick the last 7+ days and missing out on wrestling meets has been really hard for you, but I have a feeling it will drive you to make up for lost time and you'll be back to your old self in no time. It blows my mind that you are getting your permit soon...too bad the DMV isn't open on Saturdays, the thought of you driving is equal parts terrifying and exciting, it unlocks a whole new set of worries for me and moves you a step closer to not needing your dad and I as much. We've still got some time before you can drive alone...but it is looming ever closer. From the moment you decided to come 4 weeks early, you have done things in your own time and in your own way. You have to find your own path and figure things out yourself, even if someone can point you in the right direction. I know someday this will be such a benefit to you and that you'll find a balance of taking advice and finding your own way. This year has not been easy, we've butted heads more time than I care to admit, but through it all I love you even more than I did that day you came into my life and I am so damn proud of the man you are becoming. Keep being you, kid...your future is so very bright. I love you more than words. I hope you have the best birthday and year ahead. I can't wait to see what come next.

Love you always, 

Mom

seventeen

 Dear B,

I can't believe we've arrived at this point already, both at your birthday (because wasn't it just your birthday) and the fact that you are 17. I swear you were just 6 and getting ready to start kindergarten and here you are, ready to start your junior year and spending half your day at the community college taking classes. It's so cliché but honestly, where did the time go? While focusing on and enjoying (mostly)the day to day the years just slipped past and you have grown into this beautiful, talented, hardworking, stubborn kind woman. It is hard to imagine this house without you in it every single day (good thing I have another 2 years to adjust) because honestly, 95% of the time I just love being around you, chatting and laughing about nothing, having your dad look at us like we've lost our minds when we're overtired and giggling about the dumbest things. You are absolutely the best parts of me and your dad. I cannot even begin to explain to you how in awe of you I am, by the things you do and the way you carry yourself. You are going to move mountains my sweet girl. Seventeen years ago you changed my life immeasurably and you have continued to change it every day since. You make my world, THIS world better. Keep being unapologetically yourself and sharing your heart with the world, it needs more strong and confident women. I wish I could give you a world that was better and safer...but I am confident you will navigate it with strength and grace, regardless of the situation. To say I am proud of you is such an understatement and I'm excited to see what this next year brings. I love you more than you can possibly imagine. Have the best day my sweet girl.

Love always,

Mom

thirteen...

 My Sweet Bryce,

How in the world are you 13 today? It just doesn't seem possible, I swear it was just yesterday that I was seeing your sweet face for the very first time and holding your tiny little 5lb 7oz body in my arms and wondering how I would ever be able to love you more than I did in that moment. Funny enough, as much as I loved you then (and it was a lot) it is no where near close to as much as I love you now. How do I even put into words this last year? It hasn't always been easy...trying to find a "new normal" amidst all of the craziness of covid and just life in general, but we're trying...day by day and we're getting there. You are not a kid who enjoys idle time. You need to be going, busy and around people. (You definitely didn't get this trait from me...there aren't many people who enjoy NOT being around people as much as I do 😁) Sports still are a major part of your life...we are in the thick of wrestling season, but you're also playing jr. high basketball this year so I'm excited to see how that goes for you. I know it will not ever take the place of wrestling, so I'm just enjoying your little 2 year jaunt into this sport before high school hits and wrestling takes over the winter. Baseball, football and golf are still staples in your day to day, it has been so fun watching you compete for your school teams this year. We have been busy but you know we don't mind. Watching you do things that make you happy makes me happy. Last night as you snuggled up by me to watch a movie it hit me how you aren't a little boy anymore. You are an incredibly handsome, smart, kind, hilarious and sweet young man and I couldn't be more proud of the person you are growing into. Some days I miss that little boy who was my sidekick for the first three years of his life, but the person that little boy has changed into is pretty damn great too. I hope you have the best year yet and I hope you always know I love you with my whole heart. 

Happy 13th Bryce!

Love you always and forever,

Mom.

sixteen...

 Dear B,

I truly cannot believe you turn 16 today. In so many ways it feels like just yesterday you made your way into this world and changed our lives forever. I was totally unprepared that day and I am equally as unprepared for this day and this new chapter of your life. I'm so excited for you and your new found freedom and independence but it is also a little sad for me...because even though I sometimes complain about shuttling you back and forth to practice, lessons, and appointments, I always secretly cherished those times where we would talk on those drives back and forth. Somedays they were tough conversations and tears, others just light hearted chats and laughs but one thing you could always count on was lots of off-key singing. This last year has had some ups and downs. Navigating your first year of high school along with all of the challenges of the pandemic certainly didn't make things easy, but in true B fashion...you made the best of it. You challenged yourself to try new things and step out of your comfort zone, and you discovered you loved speech and the spring musical (I won't even tell you I told you so). This year also brought new softball teammates and coaches into your life and I saw your love of softball come back tenfold. Your confidence has soared. It was probably my favorite thing about this year, watching you out there on that field or in the dugout with your teammates brings me so much joy, because I know it brings you so much joy. I am constantly in awe of the person and woman you are becoming. You are already so certain of who you are and your zero tolerance for BS is something I greatly admire. I hope these are qualities that continue to strengthen in time and that you always are kind and give people the benefit of the doubt, but stand firm in what you believe. You, my beautiful girl, are one of a kind and this world is a much brighter place with you in it. I can't believe how quickly we got to this place where you can drive and are so close to leaving home, but here we are and I can only hope we've prepared you to make good choices and that you always know, no matter what, how much you are loved. I also hope that you'll occasionally still let me ride along to your practices with you so we can sing at the top of our lungs and laugh until we cry. I love you sweet girl, with my whole heart. Happy 16th, I hope it is the sweetest one yet.

Love you always and forever,

Mother Amber (aka Mom 😘)

twelve...

 Bryce,

Whew...this year has been a hard one. The year started out on a high note with you qualifying for AAU State Wrestling for the 2nd year in a row. It is always so much fun watching you compete. The season didn't end the way you wanted it to but you always worked hard and never gave up and we are so proud of you for always putting everything you have into everything you do. Shortly after the wrestling season was over "normal" life wasn't so normal anymore. This year has probably hit you the hardest...you are such a social person, always wanting to be on the go and with your friends and just around people in general. We tried to make the most of our family time, playing euchre and board games, but you just missed the normalcy of going  to school, going to practice, having baseball games. Thankfully you were able to golf in the DAJT and the PGA Junior League again this year. You had a great year and have improved so much, now if you just wouldn't be so hard on yourself. You and dad got out on the course as much as you could and as long as the weather would allow, it has been a saving grace this year. I know being shut down again, just as wrestling was getting started is so hard on you...you miss your friends and your coaches and just competing, but it will get better. Things will probably not be "normal" for a while, but I know you will do what you always do, keep moving on and pushing forward to come back better. Nothing ever keeps you down long, so I have no doubt that this will only make you stronger in the long run. Dad and I are so proud of the young man you are becoming...you have a huge, soft heart, a kind, gentle soul, wisdom beyond your years, a laugh and smile that can turn around any bad day and a determination that will always keep you moving forward. Happy 12th Birthday, Bryce...you are loved beyond measure. I hope all your wishes come true this year!

Love always,

Mom